Post by toumba on Nov 8, 2007 18:36:25 GMT -5
Special Bulletin:
Disaster has struck the western coasts of the European Continent, forever affecting the once protected Mediterranean Sea.Due to a swift and extremely weird rise of sea levels, the Atlantic Ocean has swallowed the Iberian peninsula and the north-western coasts of Africa in a matter of days.
Despite the desperate cries of citizens and local authorities, Al Gore was nowhere to be seen.Although the Gore Signal lit the skies for days, the Still Knight of the Donkey, protector of the environment and champion of Oprah did not come to the rescue,due to hesitant political advisers who thought that such action could easily be misinterpreted by the Media as a sign of willingness to interfere with global affairs thus triggering his run for the '08 Presidential Elections (God Forbid). President Bush has extended his "sincerestest applaus-ogies", blaming those "rotten islamofascists" and their praying habits for the disaster which "is a continat- a contiuat- a continuating- heck, it's what these folks did down in New Orleans all over again". He then went on to ask for Americans to pray and Congress to pass his new budget on Iraq.
Preliminary scientific estimates are contradictory. Some put the blame on Global Warming, some (namely Dan Brown) on a joined CIA-FSB-Free Mason conspiracy, others see this disaster as a proof of a coordinated attack by marine creatures trying to recapture the globe, while some mock the "aquatic theory" pointing out that this is clearly an act of extraterrestrial invasion.
The Pope has called the disaster an act of God, Who, having heard the Spaniards' protests on the beatification of Franco's ministers, decided that He had had enough of those ungrateful bastards;his holiness has asked believers to pray, start wearing condoms (since population growth must be slowed down, the devastated region not being able to withstand it) and burn a couple of gays as witches Fanatic Islamic leaders also call the phenomenon an act of God,but one that provides a sign that He is furious with the infidels and clearly states that it's time that we throw some Jihad on them and start chopping off some heads. The Jewish stated that's crap;the disaster is nothing but the beginning of the fulfillment of the Prophecy that God will only salvage His true people.In the weeks that will come everyone will be sunk, except Israel. And since this is the work of God,we must assist the Lord.Now push the red button already!In the midst of this religious madness Scientologists just proclaimed "we told you so" and asked their flocks for more generous contributions if they wish to be saved,first class.
This unprecedented catastrophe has claimed the lives of millions and wiped Sagunda,Rudahnia, Anubis and Apollo and Dragoostin Jei off the map. The loss of the Med's designated cartographer is a great blow to the region's efforts of international cooperation. The white and red flag of Rudahnia has been lifted in public buildings all across the region as a sign of mourning and respect.
As a joined rescue mission for the recovering of potential survivors is still under way, leaders of all the region's Nations have been called upon on this hour of tragedy to prepare for the arrival of refugees from the lost Nations and assist them in every way on their new beginning.
PS To anyone reading the above:Those political and religious remarks don't aim at insulting any of you guys or the aforementioned institutions.It's a (maybe poor) effort to make a joke-so chill! ;D
Should you believe that the post is somehow inappropriate feel free to ask for its deletion
Disaster has struck the western coasts of the European Continent, forever affecting the once protected Mediterranean Sea.Due to a swift and extremely weird rise of sea levels, the Atlantic Ocean has swallowed the Iberian peninsula and the north-western coasts of Africa in a matter of days.
Despite the desperate cries of citizens and local authorities, Al Gore was nowhere to be seen.Although the Gore Signal lit the skies for days, the Still Knight of the Donkey, protector of the environment and champion of Oprah did not come to the rescue,due to hesitant political advisers who thought that such action could easily be misinterpreted by the Media as a sign of willingness to interfere with global affairs thus triggering his run for the '08 Presidential Elections (God Forbid). President Bush has extended his "sincerestest applaus-ogies", blaming those "rotten islamofascists" and their praying habits for the disaster which "is a continat- a contiuat- a continuating- heck, it's what these folks did down in New Orleans all over again". He then went on to ask for Americans to pray and Congress to pass his new budget on Iraq.
Preliminary scientific estimates are contradictory. Some put the blame on Global Warming, some (namely Dan Brown) on a joined CIA-FSB-Free Mason conspiracy, others see this disaster as a proof of a coordinated attack by marine creatures trying to recapture the globe, while some mock the "aquatic theory" pointing out that this is clearly an act of extraterrestrial invasion.
The Pope has called the disaster an act of God, Who, having heard the Spaniards' protests on the beatification of Franco's ministers, decided that He had had enough of those ungrateful bastards;his holiness has asked believers to pray, start wearing condoms (since population growth must be slowed down, the devastated region not being able to withstand it) and burn a couple of gays as witches Fanatic Islamic leaders also call the phenomenon an act of God,but one that provides a sign that He is furious with the infidels and clearly states that it's time that we throw some Jihad on them and start chopping off some heads. The Jewish stated that's crap;the disaster is nothing but the beginning of the fulfillment of the Prophecy that God will only salvage His true people.In the weeks that will come everyone will be sunk, except Israel. And since this is the work of God,we must assist the Lord.Now push the red button already!In the midst of this religious madness Scientologists just proclaimed "we told you so" and asked their flocks for more generous contributions if they wish to be saved,first class.
This unprecedented catastrophe has claimed the lives of millions and wiped Sagunda,Rudahnia, Anubis and Apollo and Dragoostin Jei off the map. The loss of the Med's designated cartographer is a great blow to the region's efforts of international cooperation. The white and red flag of Rudahnia has been lifted in public buildings all across the region as a sign of mourning and respect.
As a joined rescue mission for the recovering of potential survivors is still under way, leaders of all the region's Nations have been called upon on this hour of tragedy to prepare for the arrival of refugees from the lost Nations and assist them in every way on their new beginning.
PS To anyone reading the above:Those political and religious remarks don't aim at insulting any of you guys or the aforementioned institutions.It's a (maybe poor) effort to make a joke-so chill! ;D
Should you believe that the post is somehow inappropriate feel free to ask for its deletion